I rewrote the opening of my book, Malachai, in third person, and I’m getting to like it that way. To get a better idea of how to write it, I took a closer look at the opening of Tom Gordon. I analyzed what information is presented within the first page, then within the first five pages.
On the first page:
We learn that she is nine years old, she’s a Red Sox fan, it’s early June and she’s sitting in her mother’s Dodge Caravan, and she’ll be lost in the woods by ten thirty, not really because she had to pee, but because she was trying to get away from the conflict between her mother and brother.
The opening sentence, "The world had teeth and it could bite you with them any time it wanted." tells us that her view of the world will radically change because of this event. " . . . sometimes when people got lost in the woods they got seriously hurt. Sometimes they died." This sentence tells us that she might get hurt or die.
In the first paragraph, the sentence, "At ten thirty she was lost in the woods," drew me right into the story. If the story had started with the girl and the conflicted family going on an outing in the woods, (and if this book hadn’t been on my reading list) I might not have continued reading. (This is letting the text stand on its own, not reading the blurb on the back of the book telling us she’s going to be lost in the woods.)
Within the first five pages:
We know their family history and where they go to school. We know that their mother takes them or tortuous family outings, during which the fighting between her mother and brother becomes even worse. The fighting between them is escalating as her brother gets older. By seeing Trish’s observations, we get a real feel for what kind of person she is.
King injects some humor, "Maybe if her mother had been at Little Big Horn the Indians still would have won, but the body-count would have been considerably higher."
The reader learns that they are on one of these tormenting family outings on the Appalachian Trail when she gets lost.
Within the first five pages, we are sufficiently intrigued by the characters, setting and unanswered questions presented to continue reading the book.
I also did the same thing with the Talisman, mainly because it also has a young protagonist, and I’m looking at the way the language is handled.
I’ve just bought, The First Five Pages, and I’m going to read that next.
Can anyone recommend horror novels by other authors that have young protagonists?
On the first page:
We learn that she is nine years old, she’s a Red Sox fan, it’s early June and she’s sitting in her mother’s Dodge Caravan, and she’ll be lost in the woods by ten thirty, not really because she had to pee, but because she was trying to get away from the conflict between her mother and brother.
The opening sentence, "The world had teeth and it could bite you with them any time it wanted." tells us that her view of the world will radically change because of this event. " . . . sometimes when people got lost in the woods they got seriously hurt. Sometimes they died." This sentence tells us that she might get hurt or die.
In the first paragraph, the sentence, "At ten thirty she was lost in the woods," drew me right into the story. If the story had started with the girl and the conflicted family going on an outing in the woods, (and if this book hadn’t been on my reading list) I might not have continued reading. (This is letting the text stand on its own, not reading the blurb on the back of the book telling us she’s going to be lost in the woods.)
Within the first five pages:
We know their family history and where they go to school. We know that their mother takes them or tortuous family outings, during which the fighting between her mother and brother becomes even worse. The fighting between them is escalating as her brother gets older. By seeing Trish’s observations, we get a real feel for what kind of person she is.
King injects some humor, "Maybe if her mother had been at Little Big Horn the Indians still would have won, but the body-count would have been considerably higher."
The reader learns that they are on one of these tormenting family outings on the Appalachian Trail when she gets lost.
Within the first five pages, we are sufficiently intrigued by the characters, setting and unanswered questions presented to continue reading the book.
I also did the same thing with the Talisman, mainly because it also has a young protagonist, and I’m looking at the way the language is handled.
I’ve just bought, The First Five Pages, and I’m going to read that next.
Can anyone recommend horror novels by other authors that have young protagonists?
posted by Sally Bosco at
9:29 AM
