The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman

Subtlety:
I'm always trying to be subtle in my writing, but never achieve it. Lukeman states that subtlety is the mark of a confident and proficient writer. "A writer who is subtle is in no rush; he can pace himself, prolong tension, suspense and even dialogue for hundreds of pages. He can hint, foreshadow and leave things unsaid."

To me, this shouldn't be mistaken for writing that is confusing or misleading.

Writing that is subtle will resonate with the reader for a long time, because he is putting his own interpretation into it.

Lukeman states that less is more. This probably isn't good advice for me, because I need to work on incorporating more detail. However his advice to picture the reader as brilliant and perceptive is good advice for me.

Look back over your foreshadowing and make sure it isn't too overt. Ask yourself, "Will a reader want to read my book twice?"

Tone:
Tone is something we hardly ever think about, but it has to do with the writer's intention. The narrator shouldn't be overly personal, wise-ass, overly serious. The tone should be consistent with the story.

Lukeman says that one is something that is difficult for the writer to pick up. It's best to have an outside reader read your piece and let you know if there is a tone problem. Ask yourself if the tone fits the manuscript.

Focus:
Ask yourself if your writing is staying on track. I think of books like Mailer's, "Ancient Evenings," that will digress into another subject for 500 pages before it gets back on track, and we are perfectly willing to go with him and read the digressing material. (Of course, we are talking about a genius here, and I did skim some sections.) Lukeman says that someone who is a master can digress by 300 pages then return to the subject at hand in the most subtle way imaginable. This makes the reader feel like he's been on an intentional journey.

Each chapter should be an independent unit. The focus of individual chapters is equally important.

"No matter how good the writing, if it does not further the intention or progression of the work, it must be cut. Look over your events and see if they're resolved, and look for blatant digressions.

The end of chapter exercise was very helpful to me. "To help you focus your manuscript, forget the writing before you and instead summon your original intention with setting out to write a book. I've written several books, and sometimes I lose what I had originally intended the book to be, either in plot or in tone.

Setting:
This is particularly important to me, because I chose a unique setting for my book, a tiny island, Smith Island in the Chesapeake Bay. A good setting can add a layer of subtext to your writing. Setting is a powerful way of conveying information subtly. Settings should come to live, and the character should interact with the setting.

Conversely, a writer shouldn't spend too much time on his/her setting, shouldn't over-explain. Try stretching out your description of setting over a few pages, rather than in an expository lump.

Settings are brought to life by a telling detail. I try to do this, pick out a few unusual features, rather than describing the setting down to the minutest detail. (Again, I think I often don't include enough detail.)

Draw on all five senses.

Have something in the setting interfere with or annoy your character. Ideally, the setting should play a part in the plot. Great settings use details to make an impression.

Pacing and Progression:
A book should not move too fast or too slow, be too easy or too difficult to read. A satisfying balance is ideal. But how to achieve this?

Pacing is too slow if you've created a world that is more interesting to you than to the reader, or if there's not enough at stake. If this is true, cut back telling and replace with dramatization. Dialogue accelerates the pace.

If the pace is too fast, ask yourself, what's the rush?

Good progression makes the reader feel like there is a point to the story. Lack of development in the plot or in characterization may cause a poor sense of progression. The writer should have a clearly defined end in mind.

If you progression is too fast, remember that readers like to work. It makes them feel like the story is theirs.

Epilogue:
The last portion tells us that if you can stick it out long enough, you will make it into print. That was encouraging. Devotion to your art plays a big part in it.

Your biggest resource in getting published is other people. Networking is very important for a writer. I think we see this with our residency at Seton Hill. One of the most valuable aspects of the program is connecting with other writers.

Overall:
This book was full of wonderful information. There were several things I had never thought about or didn't realize their importance to a professional reader. Something that bothered me about this book was that the wrong examples were so exaggerated and blatantly bad, there wasn't much to learn from them, I just skimmed over most of them and moved on. If the incorrect writing had been subtler, I could have learned more from it.

The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman

In reading our critique stories these past few weeks, I was very aware of looking for the mistakes listed in The First five Pages. Telling information the characters already know through dialogue was a big one.

Something significant I've noticed in student writing (and I include myself in these problems) is that at times the action of the story gets difficult to follow. I'd say that's usually due to not explaining enough. I know that you're not supposed to have "expository lumps," and "tell rather than show," yet I see that I do need more description. I guess doing it in a way that is artful and fitting to the story is the key.

This book continues to be a great help in both writing and critiquing. Information is useful and specific, and I could relate the exercises directly to my current project.

Show rather than tell:
We all know that a writer should show rather than tell, but I never realized that the advantage of showing versus telling is that when you show something, you leave room for interpretation on the part of the reader. When you tell, the facts are more fixed and objective. What makes a book memorable (one the reader can read several times) is the fact that the reader is able to give the book his own interpretation and make it his own. A book like "Catcher in the Rye" can mean different things to a person at different times in his life. Great books are defined by what the reader brings to them.

If the reader doesn't feel that he had experienced the text, it will have a dry feeling to it. In our writing we should always " . . . see if there is a way to leave an element of ambiguity, of mystery, a door open for readers to come to their own conclusions." This is great advice.

I'll often read a book I like and think that the author is actually giving a lot of description, but I don't mind it, because it reads well. Lukeman states that there are ways of showing with description. For example, instead of saying that the prison was heavily fortified, say it had walls twenty feet thick. Give particular, unique info.

Viewpoint and Narration:
A lot of the viewpoint section was pretty obvious to me, but something good to think about is that the protagonist must present a unique viewpoint. "The reader must feel strongly about the narrator."

With my current project, "Malachai," I've been wavering on viewpoint. I changed to third person, but I'm really not happy with it; I'd rather switch back to first.

I'll digress here for a moment to say that I've been reading a book I really like, "Incubus," by Ann Arsneserg, that tells about a small town that is gradually taken over by demons who have sex with all the women in the town. It builds gradually, which I like and is written in first person. (However this book is out of print now, so I probably shouldn't closely use it as a model.) It's more of a literary-style book with a lot of internal action and more description than you would normally see in a horror book. But to me it has a great sense of place and reality, so I would like to bring some of this to my book, perhaps to a lesser extent.

The exercise about changing viewpoint character made me think that perhaps my novel could be told through the mother's point of view.

Characterization:

Calling a character by different names can be a problem. I hadn't thought of this before, because I thought I was adding variety, but I do know that inconsistent naming has caused some reader confusion in the past. (e.g. Jenna's mother, Mrs. Taft, Susan) Better to stick to one handle.

"One of the hardest things to do in writing is create characters that readers will care about, that will make them have to read on." I really wish I knew how to do that. Lukeman suggests that you have to spend some time developing the character before you launch into the story, don't use stock or cliché characters, and don't introduce too many characters at once, make the character likeable. I feel that the character should be slightly flawed in some way – be an underdog (like Harry Potter), or have some hardship to overcome.

How do you convey character description without interrupting the flow? Don't describe usual characteristics, such as hair or eyes. "Describe around them," such as, "He had sunken cheeks." Use unusual vocabulary.

Rather than use surface description, get deeper into the core of the character. Conrad's opening of "The Heart of Darkness," is "He was obeyed," describing a character by the ways the other people react to him. "Readers don't want the ordinary and every day; they want to be captivated."

Hooks:
The rest of our text should have the same intensity our hooks have. Lukeman says that this is the difference between a mediocre writer and a great one. "Does the integrity of the hook end with one line? What's impressive to a professional reader is maintained intensity."

How does a writer produce writing that the reader can't put down? One way is to incorporate good hooks. These should either propel the reader into the next chapter or resonate with the reader. But again, the whole chapter must be as strong as the closing hook. The worst problem with a hook would be if it is divorced from the rest of the section.

It is difficult to pull off dialogue as an opening hook. Exposition is needed to establish a story. Trying to make dialogue strong enough to be an opening hook can make it seem melodramatic.

"When you work on hooks, the text between them will take on a more focused feel. Propelled from an opening and leading to a closing. This should add an extra layer of intensity to your manuscript."

I think I have to get away from the cheap shot, Goosebumps kind of hooks and try for some depth of meaning that draws the reader.